India can be the most beautiful place, but it can also be the ugliest place.
In the midst of this up-and-down battle of my senses here in India, I have also been experiencing a similar rollercoaster-like spiritual life. Some days I wake up on the beautiful and peaceful beach in Goa, or the stunning white city palace back drop of Lake Pichola in Udaipur and really feel God's presence and hear His voice. Then there are other days, when I struggle to get a wink of sleep on a 21 hour bus ride from hell to udaipur, or have to traverse the smelly-trash ridden streets of Chennai to see any beautiful sights that I feel as if God is not there at all and all I had experienced in the beauty was my own imagination.
I am starting to realize that it is in these moments of utter discomfort and disarray when God is trying to speak the most. For instance, I could have had an amazing morning in which I am reminded to be more mindful of my actions towards others(a seemingly easy task on a beautiful beach with no real problems to face right?), and then once I am thrown back into the miserable temperature of the disgusting filthy city, I start treating everyone along my way as if they were mere obstacles in my quest for comfort. Just like that, I forget all about that whisper in the peace saying "be mindful my son of your actions" and I am back to the total distortion and overdrive that drowns out the voice and presence of God I am seeking.
I found myself getting frustrated at God in this bumpy journey toward His plan for me, but we must realize that this is part of the "journey" in and of itself. The ups and downs are where God really speaks to us, and puts to use the wisdom and faith that He has built in us along the way. It's in the whispers of the children and the silence of the desert; but it's also in the rip-off at the market and the angered sweaty face of the man next to you on the train. God does not take His presence away from us while we seek Him, sometimes it seems He just talks a little quieter to make sure we were, and are listening. I think God often repeats back to me, "Are you there Russ?"
Matthew 28:20-"...And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age."
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Are you There God?
Russ, that is the question of the ages. The question, I believe every man in his heart is asking. Are you there, God and do you love me? Job’s struggle throughout the book of Job is really about that exact question. Job knows that God is there when his life is great, but take it all away and what is his response? He struggles…wrestles with God for many chapters. But Chapter 19 of Job is great as Job lists how utterly his life sucks and then he says in verse 25 , but I KNOW THAT MY REDEEMER LIVES! He never lost his faith in God and he came to a place in his life where he could turn control of his life completely over to God with open hands. (Then God blesses him even more). That is what God wants from us. He wants us to come to him with open hands saying “do with my life what you will Lord.”
Jeremiah 29:11-12
"I'll show up and take care of you as I promised and bring you back home. I know what I'm doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for. When you call on me, when you come and pray to me, I'll listen."
Praying that your relationship with Jesus will grow stronger each day and He will give you joy in your journey.
Sandy
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