Are you there God?

India can be the most beautiful place, but it can also be the ugliest place.

In the midst of this up-and-down battle of my senses here in India, I have also been experiencing a similar rollercoaster-like spiritual life. Some days I wake up on the beautiful and peaceful beach in Goa, or the stunning white city palace back drop of Lake Pichola in Udaipur and really feel God's presence and hear His voice. Then there are other days, when I struggle to get a wink of sleep on a 21 hour bus ride from hell to udaipur, or have to traverse the smelly-trash ridden streets of Chennai to see any beautiful sights that I feel as if God is not there at all and all I had experienced in the beauty was my own imagination.
I am starting to realize that it is in these moments of utter discomfort and disarray when God is trying to speak the most. For instance, I could have had an amazing morning in which I am reminded to be more mindful of my actions towards others(a seemingly easy task on a beautiful beach with no real problems to face right?), and then once I am thrown back into the miserable temperature of the disgusting filthy city, I start treating everyone along my way as if they were mere obstacles in my quest for comfort. Just like that, I forget all about that whisper in the peace saying "be mindful my son of your actions" and I am back to the total distortion and overdrive that drowns out the voice and presence of God I am seeking.
I found myself getting frustrated at God in this bumpy journey toward His plan for me, but we must realize that this is part of the "journey" in and of itself. The ups and downs are where God really speaks to us, and puts to use the wisdom and faith that He has built in us along the way. It's in the whispers of the children and the silence of the desert; but it's also in the rip-off at the market and the angered sweaty face of the man next to you on the train. God does not take His presence away from us while we seek Him, sometimes it seems He just talks a little quieter to make sure we were, and are listening. I think God often repeats back to me, "Are you there Russ?"
Matthew 28:20-"...And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age."

The Northern Lights

It all begins with the long aerial journey to start the journey. I was apprehensive about flying, as always, but was immediately comforted to know that my row was empty and I would be able to sprawl across three seats!! The flight from LAX to Germany was long, but I spent most of the time engulfed in an amazing book called Wild at Heart, by John Eldridge. My dad gave me this book highly recommended, and it began speaking to my heart in the most incredible way a book ever has. I was in such a deep dialogue with God through much of the book. I felt like God Himself was talking to me authentically through each well put thought after another. The book really opened the heart of what it is to be a MAN of God and to come to the real heart of the God who made you such. There were so many mental revelations happening through this book, and I continued to thank God during each one. I was starting to feel really excited for the trip and had very little anxiety left regarding this journey.
From Germany, I had to fly to Delhi, and then from Delhi to Chennai. The second long leg of the flight also had a totally empty row for me to sprawl out on and get some rest. While everyone on the plane seemed to be asleep, I was sitting up reading and writing and talking with God. One of male flight attendants approaches my row and asks, "Have you heard of the Northern Lights?" "YES!!!" I replied as he pointed at my shade drawn in front of the window, beckoning me to open it up and see. Sure as daylight, I looked out the wing of our Indian aircraft only to see the most amazing display of the Northern Lights I could have ever hoped for. The man chatted with me a bit about them, while I was experiencing extreme chills and excitement at the shear wonder, mystery, and beauty in these dancing night swirls. These irradescent flows of multi-colored lights were flowing like the gowns of angels descending to earth, and it was all happening about 20 feet in front my window.
I could not, and can not, help but to feel like this was God Himself again speaking to me and showing me that this was the beginning of a long, mystical journey. I prayed and praised God for such a beautiful encounter with one of the most gorgeous natural occurences I have ever wanted to see. Things were feeling alright, until I got into Chennai alone.
Chennai is the hottest and second most populated state in India. It is filthy, and the people are not always as nice here as they seem in other regions. After stepping out of the airport to hail a rickshaw, I was bombarded by a wall of steam which made it feel like I was breathing through a wet sponge! There were at least a thousand Indian people in the chaos of the airport area, and I was immediately feeling overwhelmed and being in over my head. I got a cab to the shadiest cheap hotel I could find, and shut the door and began to pray with a heavy heart and tear-laden eyes. Even after God's mystical experience with me, I felt so alone and out of touch with Him all of the sudden. I prayed through it and started some reading, and God helped me to get out of the room to start the journey alone.
I am reminded of the way God blessed the Israelite people in the Old Testament with many miracles(parting of the red sea, escaping from Pharoah, winning numerous battles, etc.) and how He brought that up to them when they felt forsaken or out of touch. God reminded them of all the many miracles He had showed them firsthand, encouraging them to remain faithful in that memory of His almighty power and omiscience. And yet many of them, still strayed or felt forsaken by God when things went wrong. After my few mystical experiences with God on the flight there, I was feeling far away and forgotten. The first day of sightseeing alone, I encountered the only seeming Christian rickshaw driver who became my driver and tour guide through chennai all at a very humble price. Then, I was treated to breakfast at a hotel restaurant by a business man from New Hampshire, whose english and shared conversation about his journeys throughout his youth really inspired and uplifted me. To add the icing to the cake of God's authentic experience with me are these two men's names; Thomas(from New Hampshire) and Paul(from India-my rickie driver). Not only had God provided the perfect comforting friends and conversations, but they were named after two of Christ's disciples. I am wondering if I will meet the other ten names now!! God speaks in mysterious ways that are authentic, creative, and special according to each of His children's needs and desires. I spent the three days alone exploring sights like St. Thomas Basilica(burial place of Thomas the apostle), Kaballasware temple, Mamallapuram, and the Five Rathas. I did much praying and thanking to God in these places just for this already amazing Divine experience. I have struggled with patience and some lonliness since I got here, but once I met up with my dear friend mike on the fourth evening, everything seemed to be shining again and I was ready to face a whole new set of struggles with him. Never forget the miracles and divine interventions God provides for you, no matter how small, because those could very well be the answers to your prayers and struggles. If you seek Him, He will find you and lift you up from the struggles and triumphs.
I am now really enjoying my time here as we have moved up to a much cooler climate and better area called Bangalore. We are setting out for some serious travel in the next week, and Im looking forward to a whole new set of experiences and lessons from the true Father.
In His Comfort-Russ
Psalm 139:7&8 Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence?
If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.